TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
