I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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