I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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