Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As shirtless as possible
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
