tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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