Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
