This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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