Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
