so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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