Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
