sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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