I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
