I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
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We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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