We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
