problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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