I should be sponsored by Trojan
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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