did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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