Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
