Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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