well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
