You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Houston, we have a blender
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
