She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
