There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.