Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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