Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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