a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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