I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
