She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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