if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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