ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize