Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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