I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
