You can't special order awesome
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
