we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Alive.
So much puke
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
