This is not my ceiling
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
