I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize