New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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