i think my tv is drunk
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
