Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
false alarm. still invincible.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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