Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
