for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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