This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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