Duck Duck Cougar?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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