they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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