I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the day after is always just damage control
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
