we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
