im drinking this country out of the recession.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
