so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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