somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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