He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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