I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
