Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
