Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize