yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
