Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
